Gundam Christmas 2
by Leriku
Summary: the second Gundam Christmas party at Treize's mansion. much alcohol-- thus the rating. dont drink and drive. R/R!


1 A Gundam Christmas 2  
  
(Note: Okay okay, Treize is dead… but for this fic that detail is overlooked.)  
  
It was a snowy night when the second annual Christmas party was being held at Treize's mansion. Duo had brought the tape that he made of last year's party, planning to embarrass Wufei at a later time.  
  
"Now, I didn't really have anything planned last year and things got… ahem… out of hand." Treize announced, remembering his car. "So I have arranged a scavenger hunt for all of us." He said.  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
"And I put us all into partners. They are as follows:  
  
Treize Kushrenada (that's me) and Lady Une." Treize said, smiling at Lady Une who blushed.  
  
Quatre and Hilde  
  
Heero and Relena  
  
Wufei and Dorothy  
  
Duo and Sally  
  
Trowa and Noin  
  
Milliardo and Catherine."  
  
Everyone groaned again. Except Heero and Relena. Heero looked like he was about to kill someone and Relena was smiling, while handing Treize a big sac of money.  
  
"Now, I have had my servants scatter various Christmas objects around my huge mansion." Treize said, pocketing the money "The first person to find all 10 wins a special prize. We have an hour to find all the objects, if no one has found all 10 by then, then the group with the most objects will win. We will rendezvous back here in an hour to open Secret Santa presents. Good luck."  
  
The list was as follows  
  
The 2nd annual Treize Bash.  
  
The 1st annual scavenger hunt.  
  
Here is a list that you will need to find:  
  
A 3 foot candy cane  
  
Five gold walnuts  
  
A hobby horse  
  
A nutcracker  
  
The BIG BOOK OF WINE  
  
A fiberoptic 2 foot Christmas tree  
  
A blue coffee mug with a white Christmas tree on it  
  
5 golden rings (me: sorry, I just couldn't resist (^_^;)  
  
A 3 layer Chocolate with blue icing Christmas cake.  
  
A Santa one of those things that you put on the top of your golf club (I don't know the name of it)  
  
Wufei looked at the list. "Nani? Treize Bash? What sort of weakling name is that? I wouldn't name it after myself, especially if I was Treize…" Wufei would have gone on, but Sally put her hand over his mouth. Duo was the next to speak, a few seconds later.  
  
"And 'The Big Book of Wine'? What is up with that? It doesn't even have anything to _do_ with Christmas!" Duo looked inquisitively at Treize. Treize ignored the American pilot.  
  
"Now, lets begin." Treize said.  
  
Everyone got into their pairs and headed somewhere in Treize's mansion.  
  
"Come Lady Une… let us look in the… closet." Treize said, and Lady Une giggled.  
  
Five minutes later:  
  
Trowa bit his lip. "Okay I've got to see what's in that closet."  
  
Elsewhere:  
  
Duo and Sally walked into the kitchen. Duo was staring at Sally the whole time. "Whaaat?" Sally finally asked.  
  
"Has anyone told you that you have twizzlers in your hair?"  
  
"That IS my hair."  
  
"Oh." Duo said. "I was thinking that they were twizzlers and now I'm hungry! Thanks a lot Sally!" Duo grumbled.  
  
"What? It's not MY fault! You're the one who thought my hair was twizzlers!"  
  
"But you're the one who was mean to me! I was just joking about the treats and the party. You hurt me. It was like saying I am incompetent and cant do anything."  
  
"I'm sorry Duo."  
  
"Talk to the hand!" Duo said, shoving his palm into Sally's face. Then, eyeing the refrigerator, "Ah, maybe they have food in here."  
  
Duo opened the refrigerator and looked inside to find… NO ITEMS THAT WERE ON THE LIST! But he did find a giant jug of milk.  
  
"NO! NO FOOD! KISAMA TREIZE!" Duo screamed.  
  
Meanwhile:  
  
"Did you hear something?" Catherine asked.  
  
"No." Milliardo said.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Omigosh! Maybe it was Trowa! Maybe he's about to self-destruct again! I've got to save him!" Catherine gasped.  
  
"It was not Trowa. He has nothing to self-destruct out of." Milliardo simply stated.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Soon the two entered the wine cellar. They stood in awe at the vast quantity of wine that was stored in the enormous room.  
  
"This would explain a lot." Milliardo said.  
  
"What?" Catherine stupidly asked.  
  
"Nothing my intellectually challenged teammate."  
  
"Oh. I will make soup then." Catherine said, pondering his words.  
  
Ten minutes later:  
  
"HEY!"  
  
In another part of the house:  
  
Hilde chuckled.  
  
Quatre looked at her. Then back at the list.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Hilde looked back at Quatre.  
  
"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Heh heh heh heh heh heh…"  
  
"Nani Hilde-san?"  
  
"HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!!"  
  
"What the heck is wrong with you?" Quatre looked down to check that his fly was zipped.  
  
It was.  
  
"WHAT??????"  
  
"HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH…….."  
  
"AGHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU WANT LAUGHING EH? YOU WANT TO HEAR ME LAUGH?" Quatre then threw his head back and started his demented weasel laugh.  
  
"Whoa…"  
  
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Snakey-Sam was pestering Poor Sweet Sue. (Waiiit, what ranch? I mean, Meanwhile at another part of the house Relena was pestering Heero.)  
  
"Omae o korosu Relena Peacecraft."  
  
"Kill me Heero. You know you want to."  
  
"I never said I didn't."  
  
"Oh." Relena stupidly said, a confused look on her face.  
  
"But Heero-sama, why don't you?" Relena said, hanging on his arm.  
  
"Your brother stole my gun. He said he needed it if Catherine got out of hand."  
  
"HUH! VIOLENCE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THE PEACECRAFT FAMILY! PACIFISM WILL PREVAIL!" Relena yelled, running off to find her brother.  
  
Heero chuckled cruelly at Milliardo's expense, twirling his gun around his finger.  
  
ELSEWHERE:  
  
Noin and Trowa walked in silence. Noin and Trowa walked in silence. Noin and Trowa walked in silence until…  
  
"So what's your name again?" Noin asked.  
  
"I have no name, but if you must call me something just call me Trowa Barton, top circus clown in the world.  
  
"Bar-ton."  
  
"…" Trowa looked at her funny.  
  
Noin giggled. "I'm sorry, its just whenever I hear 'Barton' I have to repeat it slowly." (Those of you who watch Endless Waltz would get it)  
  
Trowa rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well aren't we a merry little ray of sunshine today!"  
  
"Please, shut up, I prefer silence."  
  
Noin bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
MEANWHILE:  
  
"Onna…hurry up I do not wish to loose this contest to those…" Wufei shuddered. "Weaklings. Get out of the bathroom!"  
  
"I'm sorry…I have to finish plucking my eyebrows."  
  
"…."  
  
"I think I'll give myself a hair cut too while I'm at it."  
  
"I'm going to go look for the things on the list alone then."  
  
The door was flung open. Dorothy stepped out, with the same look in her eyes that she had when she stabbed Quatre.  
  
"You aren't leaving me here alone Mister Wufei." She said grabbing him around the neck and pushing him against the wall.  
  
Wufei…he looked pissed off.  
  
"Take your hands off me onna…or I'll tell Treize". Dorothy dropped him in a little pile on the floor.  
  
"Mister Treize…." She said with some far off look in her eyes.  
  
Wufei walked off, wondering to himself why all the girls did that whenever Treize's name was mentioned.  
  
In the far off distance he swore he could hear people chuckling.  
  
Back at the meeting place ("Main hallway with a giant Christmas Tree." Says Lauren. Thank you Lauren. That was very helpful to the fan fic Lauren.)  
  
All of the groups except for Treize and Une came an hour later. "So… did anyone find anything?" Trowa asked.  
  
Everyone shook his or her heads no. Trowa looked around the room. Hilde was laughing with Quatre who was in a straitjacket. Relena was yelling at Milliardo. Noin was bawling in a corner. Duo was wailing how hungry he was. Wufei was standing with his arms crossed muttering something about the inferiority of women. Dorothy was staring at some scissors in a mirror. Trowa shrugged.  
  
Five minutes later Lady Une and Treize walked in, their hair mussed. (Hentai Lauren!)  
  
They were both carrying all the items that were on the list. Treize giggled. "Well we found them all so we win! IN YOUR FACE!"  
  
Wufei started to whimper.  
  
"Waiiit, they never left the closet…" Trowa stated.  
  
Lady Une and Treize smiled at each other.  
  
"SECRET SANTA TIME!" Treize bellowed  
  
Duo dried his tears.  
  
"Really?" He sniffed.  
  
"Really really." (Don't ask: its just I've seen Shrek four billion times.)  
  
Duo smiled.  
  
"The first present goes to…" Treize looked at Noin who was sobbing, then at Duo who still had little tears in his eyes.  
  
He glanced at the present's label.  
  
"To Quatre…I mean…" He then looked at Quatre and Hilde who seemed to be laughing at him. Then pulled out another present.  
  
"Duo."  
  
At hearing his name Duo perked up and ran over to Treize and grabbed his present. "Mine!"  
  
Duo opened it…. Ha the suspense is building... Duo opened his present and then got a fiery look in his eyes. "WHAT SORT OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?!!" Duo yelled, holding up a pair of hair-cutting scissors. "I AM NOT GOING TO CUT MY HAIR!"  
  
Trowa sweatdropped. Duo saw this and rushed towards him, yelling about Shinigami's vengeance. Trowa quickly flipped up onto the chandelier. Duo gave Trowa a glare and slowly walked away muttering "Oh well, I'll hide his supply of hair gel."  
  
After this Treize said "And the next Secret Santa gift goes to… Heero Yuy."  
  
Treize handed Heero a pink package with doves of peace on it. Heero looked at it and shrugged. Relena handed Treize another sac of money. In the box was a picture frame with a very fake looking picture of Heero and Relena looking like they were having a good time in each other's company. Heero had a smile that looked exactly like Relena's and the background behind him was black, while Relena's was blue. Heero tossed it into the fire.  
  
Treize reached into his red velvet bag where he had all of the Secret Santa presents and pulled out another. "This is to my Lady."  
  
Dorothy instantly ran over and started grabbing for the package. Treize slapped her hand away and gave it to Lady Une. Lady Une smiled and opened the present. Inside was a bunch of heart confetti surrounding a pair of heart shaped glasses. (You know the kinds little kids wear.) Lady Une blushed. "Thank you mister Treize."  
  
"Anything for you my Lady." Treize replied, and kissed her hand.  
  
"GROSS!" Duo yelled from inside the Christmas tree where he happened to be situated.  
  
"Shall I flog him your Excellency?" Lady Une said, an evil glint in her eye.  
  
"That wont be necessary." He calmly said, then whispering to Lady Une, "I have something else planned for him. Me and my car deserve our revenge!"  
  
"So, anywhoo!" Treize giggled, pulling out a very large package, "the next present goes too… lets see, it's to Wufei from Duo."  
  
Duo jumped to the top of the Christmas tree for a better view, a malicious look on his face.  
  
Wufei grumbled and started to unwrap the gift very carefully, picking at the tape and being very careful not to make a single rip in the paper. Duo yawned very audibly. Wufei glared at him then started to unwrap it a little faster, but still as careful. Under the paper was another layer of paper. Under that was a layer of duct tape, then a layer of bubble wrap. Under that was seran wrap, then Reynolds wrap, then more paper, then newspaper.  
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
Wufei unwrapped the last piece of wrapping paper off of a minuscule letter. Wufei unraveled the letter and read aloud "Your present is behind you."  
  
Duo started to guffaw extremely loudly. "KISAMA MAXWELL!" Wufei screamed, and pulled his Kanata out, swinging it wildly above his head. Treize grabbed the back of Wufei's shirt. "Now Wufei, this is Christmas, the time of peace," Treize said, shaking his finger like a mother, "Duo didn't mean it. Right Duo?" Treize shot Duo an evil glance.  
  
"Yeah… snicker… sure… snicker… whatever..." Duo said.  
  
Wufei grumbled and walked back to where he was sitting, and picked up his present that was behind him. It was a ticket to the 'up with women' program. Wufei fainted. Duo laughed. Heero glowered. Trowa snorted. Quatre continued weasel laughing… but then stopped; his insanity was starting to wear off.  
  
"Oh you silly billy Wufei!" Treize giggled. "I guess the next present goes to... ME!" Treize yelled.  
  
He opened the package (which was, from Lady Une.) It contained a gift certificate to Wine.com and a membership to Wine Lovers Unanimous. Treize wiped a tear away from his eye. "Thank you Lady Une. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."  
  
"Anything for you your Excellency." Lady Une cooed.  
  
Treize got another package out of the big red bag. "This present goes to… Dorothy." Dorothy ran up to Treize, and placed her hands on the package. She kept looking up into Treize's eyes. Lady Une pushed Dorothy away. Dorothy opened the package… inside were… a pair of eyebrow plucking tweezers. Her eyes began to well up with tears. She ran into the bathroom crying.  
  
  
  
LATER:  
  
"Quatre, here's your present." Treize whispered, awed by the weaselness of his laughter. "Its from Trow~A!" He added.  
  
Quatre's head snapped to attention. He got a misty look over his eyes and blushed. Quatre opened the package and his eyes welled up with tears. Inside was a tea set with pink little hearts and unicorns on the side. Quatre ran over to Trowa and hugged him.  
  
"And the next present goes to…" Treize started, but was interrupted by a large crash. A green light started glowing in the middle of the room. Doctor J stood there, a mean look on his face.  
  
"Well, quite a glittering assemblage, Treize. Gundam Pilots, warriors, the Lightning Count, and, how quaint, even Relena." He said. "I really felt quite distressed of not receiving an invitation."  
  
"You weren't wanted." Yelled Duo  
  
"Not wa...? Oh dear, what an awkward situation. I had hoped it was merely due to some oversight. Well, in that event I'd best be on my way." Doctor J started heading out the door.  
  
"And you're not offended, your Excellency?" Lady Une said.  
  
"Why no, your majesty. And to show I bear no ill will, I, too, shall bestow a gift on the party."  
  
Doctor J raised his hands. "Listen well, all of you! Relena shall indeed grow in pacifism and the ability to stalk, hated by all who know her. But, before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die." Doctor J said, then disappeared.  
  
A loud cheer rose from the mansion of Treize. Relena just stood there, a blank look on her face. She ran over to Heero. "Heero-sama, what just happened." Heero pushed her to the ground. Relena ran out of the room, to spin a scarf she was making for Heero.  
  
***  
  
Treize yawned. "Ooh-da-lally. It's pretty late. Time for all you young people to go home. You too Zechs. You need your sleep." He giggled, and wiggled his finger. He drained the last in his wineglass and put the empty glass with the other fifty billion on the table to his right.  
  
Zechs smacked his forehead.  
  
Everyone cheered and ran out the door, leaving a trail of debris behind them. On the way out, Heero stopped Duo under the mistletoe and gave him a peck on the nose. Treize grabbed Lady Une's wrist. "You don't have to go."  
  
She giggled.  
  
And in the sky Shenlong could be seen flying over head saying "Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night." Then exploded.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Wufei from the arms of Sally Po.  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
